I think it is much easier to participate in good listening when you are being paid for it. When two people tend toward cooperation rather than competition, it works out smoothly. When a good listener gets duped into a narcissistic dynamic, the listening is exploited. It is not black and white, listening from the heart is a wonderful gift, yet there is always the shadow of the listener to contend with, and the comparative and competitive mind inherent in human nature to contend with. So yes, we can exercise the muscle more to listen better, and go in a more compassionate and mirroring direction, but it doesn't eliminate the listener getting blindsided by a trigger from their own unconscious, and most of us are hugely unconscious.
Thanks, Richard. I definitely want to be a better listener. It is a practice for me.
Thank you for this well researched sharing.
Hafiz, the playful Persian poet born around 100 yrs after Rumi, wrote this little poem titled:
Listening
“I listen as if I am hearing the very last words of my beloved master.”
I think it is much easier to participate in good listening when you are being paid for it. When two people tend toward cooperation rather than competition, it works out smoothly. When a good listener gets duped into a narcissistic dynamic, the listening is exploited. It is not black and white, listening from the heart is a wonderful gift, yet there is always the shadow of the listener to contend with, and the comparative and competitive mind inherent in human nature to contend with. So yes, we can exercise the muscle more to listen better, and go in a more compassionate and mirroring direction, but it doesn't eliminate the listener getting blindsided by a trigger from their own unconscious, and most of us are hugely unconscious.